Overcoming The Fear Of Success

[Cheryl McNeil]

Through my experience in changing my life I have come to realize that most people have one thing in common, The Fear Of Success.

Why are people afraid of success you ask? If they desire success then why do they sabotage their self at every turn, what is it that they truly fear?

It is like the dieter that truly wants to lose weight but has a fear whether conscious our sub conscious that with that success comes change. Once we make that change we think that the relationships we have will be forced to change also. Things will change, this is true. You will have those that are jealous of what you are achieving and they will try to negate every pound you lose. Don’t let them steal your thunder. Don’t sneak that piece of chocolate when no one is looking. With change comes much joy and sometimes some sadness too but change is not a thing to be feared it is something to celebrate.

I remember talking with my mom about my dreams and goals and as she is very old school she can not grasp the things I want to change in my life and the lives of others. I just have to accept that she does not want to change at this point in her life. That is ok but I refuse to let her steal my dreams. I simply tell her that if we are to have a healthy relationship that she has to accept me for who I am and that is a very strong and independent woman. I know that things were different for her and having grown up in the depression she fears anything that is a risk. To her the only thing is working for someone and bringing home a steady paycheck. She does not grasp that doing this is never going to give me the success I seek, I will only be making someone else rich and at any given time my boss can choose to let me go. My choices were to work for myself and she had to learn to accept that, she eventually saw that I was being successful and told me that it wouldn't be for her but if it worked for me that was good.

This brings another point to mind, women find that becoming successful brings many fears. The fear of loneliness, the fear of the power to change our world. Who will love me if I am this powerful and successful woman? The answer to that is many people will love you and respect you for having the courage to change your life.

You can deal with these fears with visualization. Either play out the fears in your mind and imagine how you can change this, you can see them coming true in the future and you can destroy them. You can also write them out on paper and then destroy the paper. I choose to write my fears as writing has always been great therapy for me. Identify why you have held onto these fears first and foremost.

Once you deal with these fears you can then move forward with your goals, dreams and plans for your success. They must be put behind you to ever move forward.

Share your fears with others that may have had to overcome the same fears, ask how they moved forward.

I will share some of the things I have had to overcome to give you some examples.

I have a home based business and I am very successful at it. I am very passionate about it and it is not just because I can make money at it. I am helping other people and I am also helping my planet. As I have always loved to help others it was the natural choice for me in a business. I love what I do and that is so important in life, why do I want to go to an office each day of my life, never see my family or have any control over what I make or what I do? I set my own hours and I decide how much money I want to make. When I went into this I would tell my mother what I was doing and all I ever heard was that is a pipe dream Cheryl, no one makes money doing that and you know it. I would give her my arguments and by the time I was through dealing with that my focus was gone. It was taking away from all I wanted for myself.

I have the goal to open a shelter for abused women, having lived in a very abusive marriage for 8 years and finally finding the strength to take my power back and get out I want no woman to ever stay because she has no where to go. Many parents I am sure are like mine and tell you that you made your bed and now you must lie in it. Well I found that wasn’t true and I did take control of my life and change it. I was so scared, the fears that kept me there for years had to be overcome. I took my baby, got in the van with $50 to my name and set out to change my life. The money did not last long, the shelters were full and I lived in the back of that van for a couple of months with my child while I searched for a job and a better life. Cleaning up in gas station rest rooms and begging people for a way to feed my baby were not something I had ever pictured myself doing but I found myself doing just that. I walked into a restaurant one day with my child on my hip and asked if they were hiring. The manager was a kind man and talked with me for a long time, wanting to know my story and why he should give me a job. I had to reach down very deep to find the answers as I had been so abused that my self worth had just about vanished. I found that strength and when we were done I had a job. There was a girl that worked there and she had heard some of it and told the manager that if he hired me I could live with her and if he worked us different shifts she could watch my baby while I worked. What a blessing those two were in my life. I went to work and when I got my first check I gave Jodi some money for the rent and utilities, we became very good friends and she helped me in many ways. The fear of change kept me in an abusive relationship far too long, but the whole point here is that I had the power all along to do what I needed to do. Once I took that power back I was free. We all have that power and it is a choice if we use it or don’t.

I went on with my life, met a wonderful man I have been married to for 18 years and when I wanted to work from home he gave me his full support. We both work from home now and were top income earners with the first company we were with. We are now involved in our new company and though there was fear at first we are building a very strong business and we are not alone, we have great support and give great support.

The people that negate what I do I have learned that they have their own fears and once they use their power to change they will see that it is not a pipe dream but something very tangible and they can also have it if they want freedom of time. I have met many wonderful people and made lasting friendships through the power of the internet and though I have never met these people face to face they are my best friends. We work on our fears together and we are always there for one another.

So take your power and change the things you want to change in your life. It is a simple matter of making the choice, a choice we all have.

Cheryl McNeil

10/10/07